My Confession

I have a confession to make. Although this doesn't concern our national security it sure does have an effect on me and to everyone whose reading this blog of mine--DECEPTION.

I have a blog,friendster account,and I have an imeem account...and "bear" doesn't know it! Does this make me a deceitful person?

I've been hiding this to him all this time. Why? I guess part of me still wants a solitary moment where I can be myself, not that I am not being myself when i'm with him, I mean it's different when a person can have a moment for himself than being controlled by someone.

Ok, ok, I am afraid that if ever I tell him about this he will compel me to delete those accounts just like what he did to my other blog that's been around for 5 years, and I don't want that to happen again.

***freedom

Do I really have to give up my freedom to be with him? I love him but I also love my life. What should I do then? In all honesty, I am bewildered as to what to do with my case. He is noticing my frequent excuses and he's been asking me things that I do when i'm not on sight.

In fact there has been a big switch, before when I can't handle the pain that I was getting from him I tried to put an end to our relationship but now it's the other way around, I noticed a couple of times that he's the one initiating to put an end to it.In fact this afternoon when I met with him we had another petty fight and he tried to break up with me..he said he's tired of me, he wants space.

I uttered no! Why I said no even though it was my chance to freedom-- I can't let go of him yet. We've been together for almost 2 years and it's no joke.What 2 years of lies, deception?! masakit sa akin un eh.. (it pains me..) You don't build a foundation in a day,do you? It takes time. But considering the circumstances sorrounding our relationship, the deception, the lies--is our foundation strong enough to move on to something more complicated like marriage?

Or like the rest of the world "We're just holding on to something we both knew that is bound to happen.."