It's his 13th missed call and my phone still keeps on ringing and I pretend as if nothing is happening while i'm updating my Facebook and Twitter account. But why? Why do I not want to talk or even see him? Am I so fed up of the relationship? Is this my own way of getting out of a 3 year relationship?
I suddenly remembered everything with "kamote". It's as if I had a Deja-Vu of how it was back then when I got fed up of the relationship and the asphyxiation.. Of how it ended with mistreatment.
I think i'm beginning to understand myself now when it comes to relationship. I easily get bored no matter how strong my emotions are.. and I think this happens to everyone. Sometimes you just need to be alone and hide away from the people bugging you..
Please don't get me wrong "bear" is a nice person and a very loving person even. I have no qualms in how he takes care of me. It's really me that is the problem. It's even more complicated because I don't know how to fix it. I admit to that I am no good example of a lover to "Bear".I love "Bear" if that is the question but I noticed this past few months I have been buried to work that I exerted no effort in giving him attention.
I've been ignoring him for the most part but that did not stop him from communicating through all possible means. I know I have been unfair with him all throughout this 3 years. I have done a lot of things that made him cry but at the end of the day it's still his love that captured me.
We're supposed to go out today but i'm MIA.
For what it's worth, I just want sometime for myself. I'm not asking for a way out of the relationship. But if that's the only way for him to have a peace of mind then so be it.
5 comments:
if you want time for yourself that's fine, just don't take his patience for granted. he may not be like that forever. just a thought. =)
food bonds people. try talking about qualms and worries over a comfort meal. -- finelifeonabudget.weebly.com
@ Engel - His becoming impatient lately, unlike before he's now persistent with me doing my part in the relationship. His now taking what he's supposed to get from me.. "Di na daw uso martir ngaun.."
@ Fine - Thanks for the tip. We've tried that but most of time I end up getting choke because of his "sermon.." You know I just came into a realization that just like coaching someone about their challenges it's wasted when they don't take actions in changing themselves. My point is, Talking about our personal issues over a meal is wasted when there's really nothing to talk about except for the same old issues that we have.
Now unless I commit myself things will then be different.
Like your blog btw, will follow it! Thanks
Thank your lucky stars you have a partner who worries about you. There are so many lonely people out there. Try to be accommodating and don't look at things from your point of view only. He has his ideas and I am sure he would like for you to take them into consideration.
I have had a partner now for five years and not one single argument...while I was married to a woman for 24 years and I can't remember a day when we didn't have a shouting match.
I am thankful for my sweetie.
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