Last chance..

"When I die A baby is born.."
by: Billy Thomas

I heard it once that when someone past away, a baby is born. Born to alter the fate of mankind. Born to carry on the legacy of mankind...

What about the other side of death? Awhile ago, my sister and I received SMSed message from an aunt saying that my lolo just past away last night. At first we were obfuscated in figuring out what the text was all about because of the mispelled words when out of now michelle,my sister,suddenly just squealed by saying; "Si lolo yan, patay na!" For a moment the whole room that was filled with laughter and side-splitting jokes deviated into silenced.

I could not believe it. The only grandfather I had known alive past away. I feel sorry for myself. Where was I during those times of his sickness? Where was I when I should be taking care of him in those sluggished times. I was out of sight. I didn't even have any treasured memories before he left.

If only I have listened to my subconscious tellin me to "go and visit lolo while I still have enough time." But I did not. Nor I did gave effort in finding where he lives? Shit!Instead, i've given much of my time pursuing a demented-self-absorbed trashes. And I feel sorry for myself. If only I could turn back the hands of time. I would have spend it to lolo. I could have tell him how much I love him.
But it's too late. I wasted my last chance.

Where ever you are lolo, I apologize for all the disappointments you have discovered in me. Tell "him" that I love him and he's in my heart...
I Love you lolo.

***I wrote this blog way back when I learned that my lolo died without me knowing..sad indeed.. My last chance with lolo nicasio...